こんばわです~ =/ I'm here again, to spout out the "blank" nonsense of mine again... haiz =(
Well, we havent been in contact for 4 days, till the early morning of the 5th day, then u contacted me... Quite expected tht u'll wan to meet up soon just to return the books tht i lent u to read... Well, it may be more to tht i'm not sure.. I hesitated in replying... With the silly and mean thoughts of mine, i just tot i wanted to drag longer... There's no way i can last for one month ignoring u at all i feel... But... With ur second msg, i didnt know wad to reply... Not dunno wad to reply but rather maybe, dunno how to reply.. "I was half expecting this, i guess. I do reckon i pretty much deserve worse than this. Maybe even losing you totally:]" I was like... wt? yea, sure... u deserve much more worst than this "ignoring" thing i'm giving u... If u wan, i can giv u wan u wad u think u should deserve... losing me tht is... and wads wif tht happy face behind tht -.- So happy now tht i'm ignoring u? or soon tht u'll be losing me?? U dont know how much i wanted to msg u, how much i wanted to see just ur face, how much i want to support u no matter wad happens... Right now, i'm not ignoring u bcoz i wan to... its not easy to be a close frend when u have feelings for tht person.... U dunno how much i was in pain when u tok to me abt ur "wonderful" xgf... I tot i could be happy for u... but well, i always end up hurting myself as always.... It's always like this, i'm dumb && weird tht i don even understand myself... I wanna support u fully, this is why i needa get myself detached from u asap so tht i can be by ur side supporting u... as a friend. But it seems tht this method of detaching myself from u isnt tht easy at all just as i predicted... and it seems to be going the opposite way... The more i wanna detach from u, the more i don wan to, and the feelings gets a bit stronger sometimes... enuff to make me not even slp for a day... dunno whether it'll get worst in the future... U'll probably be thinking tht i'm silly and u're not worth doing all these.. . But tht is how i am now... this is wad u called 失恋... Anyways, i'm always repeating to myself strongly.. "Who u need is her, not me." Yea, u'll rather lose me than her... tht's how i see it...
Yea =D Today's jap class is the last~ (a bit sad though :x)to be exact, this week is kinda of the "last week of schhhhh" ~~2 weeks YOG~ 2 weeks study week~ But i wonder having this many holidays, will the paper be DAMN hard? omg omg! @@I've just drawn sth again ytd =D
Maybe i should post the whole list of them here hee~~
A piece tht i did it VERY LONG TIME AGO and left it hanging thr :x My emo waiting days =(
 ~音楽を聴きます~ Not really inspired but just tot i will follo the guide lines for once, and it turns our fine and btr o-o Just try doing some お絵かき =D*doodles* Another "emo" one ._.'
Natsu Matsuri! 「夏祭り」 I'm coming!! xD (this is one of the photocopied vers, just tried colouring onli... original not yet done)
Inspired by xpwahaha's video + song :x So i decided to sketch out the characters thr in the vid x3Yep, i guess thts all of the drawing tht i have yet shown... thr's another one... emo too =( Haiya~~~ Emo too much not gd for health didnt i said tht the last time? =/ Cant be helped -.-
Alright, AutoCAD test tmr! Hope its easy! && dammit, i havent finish or start looking at tht PBPN report i'm suppose to do -.- Will get it done ASAP =(
i also do hope i get through this stupid emotions of mine... its making me crazy =( && my bloggie isnt meant for this... but... well, I needa push it down! >^<
Down u go! じゃ!
yr
|
|